The air is crisp, the lattes are cinnamon-dusted, and my car smells like a seasonal candle gave up halfway through. That can only mean one thing: fall is here, and so is the daily school drop-off rodeo.

Between dodging rogue backpacks and waving at moms I only recognize by their sunglasses, I’ve gathered a few nuggets of wisdom—steeped in caffeine and survival instincts.